Neil Strauss: The Game Remains the Same

I was talking to a writer who was working on a now-
controversial story in this week's Village Voice about The
Game. Part of it had to do with a blogger named Dolly who had
read the book and caught a pickup artist using the lines in a
bar. Later that night, she made out with him nonetheless.

So it made me think: I've received hundreds of emails from guys
fretting that if the book or the community get too well-known,
the game won't work anymore.

So I did some thinking about that.

First of all, everyone knows how to diet, but not everyone does
it. Most of the people who read about these ideas and
techniques won't actually put them into action. (Instead,
they'll procrastinate by writing letters worrying about too
many people finding out about the techniques.)

The fact is, the game will always work. It's just that some of
the wording to the scripts may have to change -- and that's
only for those who use the scripts for "training."

For example:

What's one of the most cliché pickup lines in the world?

The corniest, cheesiest one?

That's right: It's "What's your sign?"

If you walk up to a girl and say, "What's your sign?" she'll
know you're delivering a rehearsed pickup line from some bad
70's TV show.

But guess what? "What's Your Sign" is almost exactly like the
openers and DHVs (demonstrations of higher value) in The Game.

There was a point when "What's your sign" was not a corny way
to start a conversation. It was a non-sexual opener: a means of
breaking the ice with strangers without hitting on them. It was
a current topic, exciting and interesting. (As Mystery once put
it, the best subjects for conversations are relationships and
the unknown.) Furthermore, it was a way of demonstrating value.
Instead of saying "let's ball" (or whatever the lingo was at
the time), you were showing that you were spiritual and had
interesting knowledge to offer.

In the parlance of the seduction community, it was a neutral
entertaining opener with DHV spikes built in.

And, sure, we all know it's outdated and cheesy. But isn't it
extraordinary how a few minutes into seventy percent of all
conversations with women, a discussion of astrology ensues?
She'll probably ask you, "What sign are you?" And if you know a
lot about astrology, it's actually a demonstration of higher
value.

(Note to logical, empirical, factual men: Don't say, "I don't
believe in that bullshit." Cynicism and negativity are two
traits to avoid when meeting a woman, even if you think they
make you seem "cool.")

When I was researching the book, I spent hours in Miami with a
PUA named Maddash, who gave me a long tutorial on astrology. He
taught me what all the signs meant, what the twelve houses were
all about, how to identify astrological trends in people's
lives, and how to determine sign compatibility.

Whether or not I believed in astrology was immaterial: I now
knew a lot about it. And it made for great conversation,
connection, and value when I was meeting people.

So the epiphany I had was: "What's your sign" STILL WORKS. It
will always work.

Everything will always work. If people find out about it, all
you have to do is change the way you say it and perhaps when
you say it.

For example, if saying, "Hey guys, I need a quick opinion on
something" telegraphs that you're delivering a pickup line
because the women read about it in a magazine, no worries. Just
change it to: "I need some quick help settling a debate." If
opinion openers don't work anymore, save the question for later
in the conversation. I already have three other types of
openers I've come up with that I'm waiting for the right time
to release. And if I can come up with alternatives, I've got a
feeling YOU can too.

In the bigger picture, the thing that's important to remember
is: There is no such thing as a pickup line. The language and
wording don't matter. What's important is the intent behind
them. The Jealous Girlfriend opener works not because it's the
Jealous Girlfriend opener, but because it's a way to start an
animated conversation with a group of people without hitting on
anyone. So as long as you can always do that, you've got
nothing to worry about.

Knowledge will not change the fundamentals of how women and men
are attracted to each other. To make a bad comparison: Guys who
like big breasts tend to be into women with fake breasts; it
doesn't even matter to them that they're NOT REAL. They still
flip the same attraction switches that natural ones do.

In the world of mating, perception is reality. And attraction,
in the words of David DeAngelo, is not a choice.

Yours,
Neil

PS Coming up next time: C-shaped smiles versus U-shaped smiles
EXPLAINED. Yes, I've been reading your letters!